I just want to just get real with you today and talk about life. As some of you may know, I have recently finished University and boy is it a scary world. My friends and I knew the end to our university experience was inevitable and to some extent we were terrified of the big wide world. Okay, at that time the scale of fear was around 3/10.
Couple of days after my last exam I went into work (I have a part time job) and I was bombarded with questions like, “Whats next for you? Have you started looking for jobs?”. It honestly felt like reality came and slapped me in the face. This is just made the fear scale reach around 5/10.
So then, I started looking at jobs and started to think “WHAT AM I ACTUALLY GOING TO DO WITH ME LIFE”. I was still as clueless as I was when I was still at University. The thing that got me with the jobs was how much they wanted/required from you. So the scale of fear hit around 8/10. Borderline panicking about being a failure and amounting to nothing.
The point I guess I’m trying to make is, when does a person stop being a child (student) and is expected to have their shit together.. after university, obviously. Its completely strange how at a young age you think when I’m going to be twenty one, I’m gonna be real mature and a real adult. Right now, it sure doesn’t feel like it. Is everyone faking this whole adult thing? Fake it til you make it?
There is this heavy load of pressure on fresh grad students to do something, its almost like we’re not allowed anymore time. We MUST be doing something (e.g. getting a job, post grad.. ). All I want is time to think and figure life out without the constant pressure of not having a title or an official role.
I’m not saying I don’t want a job, of course I do. I want to fit in and get a on with my life but I just need a little break to figure shit out.. then the job hunting will begin. (Probably another ramble to come in the near future! All that to look forward to).
That is all for today. I had to get this of my chest.
Also Ramadan Mubarak to all Muslims!